Why I Left

Going to Jerusalem was one of the greatest experiences of my life. It is a time that I hold dear in my heart. I told you Why I Went now I need to tell you why I left. No, it wasn't because the semester ended. It wasn't because I didn't have the money to stay. It was for no other reason than because I needed to.

I have walked where Christ has walked

As my journey was nearing its end, I still had no idea why I was there. My entire time in Israel, I felt connected to the city of Jerusalem. I fell in love with the city, the cultures, the people. I fell in love with what I was learning and the experiences I had. I wanted nothing more than to leave my old life behind. To stay and continue learning. I struggled with the thought of coming home, right up until I got on the bus to leave. All around me, my friends and classmates were eager to return to their families, to return to America. I felt alone in my desire to stay forever; and I didn't even know why I was there.

Within the last two weeks of the program, I finally received my answer. I had desired to know my purpose in Israel in order to fulfill it, but I realized that wouldn't fulfill anything at all. As recognition slowly rolled over me, I realized that I needed to leave. For me to accomplish my purpose for going to Jerusalem, I needed to leave my beloved city. I finally realized that in my blessing before going to Israel, I was told why; "to proclaim my knowledge when I returned home". And everything hit me. God had directed me to Israel because I would have experiences that no one else would have. I would go to places that few people would have to opportunity to go to. I was given the ability to have these experiences so I could share them with the world. And that, was something I had to come home to do. I didn't need to know why I was there, while I was there. I just needed to know before  I came home.

But, more importantly, I walk as He walks

That is why I continue my blog. To document my experiences with the hopes that someone will stumble upon my humble record and find value in my words. I seek to share my experiences whenever the opportunity arises. I know that throughout my life I will be able to share these precious moments with my family and in my church callings. But this is not enough for me, I will continue to do all within my power to share the truth of Christ and the reality of his life and death. For he lives and I am his messenger, foreordained, to carry his message to the world.

Why I Went

In my first post I told you about My Dream. Going to Israel was something I had dreamed about since I was 14. It was a dream, though, because I never thought it would happen. Little did I know, that was a call from God. He planted this seed of desire in my heart early in my life.

As I continued in my life I would tell everyone who asked that if I could go anywhere I would go to Israel. I would joke with my dad that we should take our next family trip over there. And then, my freshman roommate talked to me about how she thought it would cool to go to the BYU Jerusalem Center; and a light switched on. I realized, I could do that. A few months later in October of 2012, the mission age for girls was changed from 21 to 19. As I prayed to know if I should serve a mission, I was instead pushed in the direction of Israel. So I looked into it. I began talking with my dad who agreed to pay for half of the expenses. Still, that left me short quite a bit of money until I was given the opportunity to work all summer at a summer camp. Literally, everything fell into place and that's when I knew that this was my call from God.

Prior to leaving on this journey, I received a Priesthood Blessing of counsel. In the blessing I was told that I was being sent to Jerusalem. As I traveled to this foreign land, I kept this in my heart to try to understand exactly why God wanted me there. I quickly became absorbed in classes, friends, experiences, etc. and I had no idea why I was there. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind, but I continued to wonder. 

While in Galilee, I felt prompted to seek for another blessing from a friend. What an amazing experience it was. And there the Lord manifested His knowledge of my desire to know. I was blessed to know my purpose there and why God sent me. This added fuel to the fire. As I continued to study and learn and pray, it was all with the intent for this to be revealed to me. With just weeks before I was to leave my new home, I was desperate. I feared that I would not be able to accomplish my purpose. How devastating that would be.

 I had traveled some 7,000 miles on an errand from God. My total time there was four months, and my time was almost up. My time was up and I still didn't know why I was called to the Holy Land.